This isn't my house...

DAMN FUCKING CARBON SHIT

2007-09-17T21:20:00.000+10:00

Okay- now the environment is close to all our hearts. Since we will enevitably die at some point in or around it, we'd want to at least make sure that we don't do our bit to completely destroy it,

BUT- the stupidity that is 2007 has given us environmentally friendly shit that would make a Greenpeace die-hard crack a fat.

We've had the total contradictory LiveEarth- a great music concert- supposedly concocted by former US Vice-Prez Al 'I love my environment by leaving all my lights on at my mansion' Gore.

Now for those of you lucky enough to be living on Mars (seeming its probably emitting less carbon dioxide than Earth!), here's the thing. Now whilst it was a great gig- they pretty much fucked the entire thing by transporting all the people in jets (emitting carbon everywhere), and all those lights etc pretty much fucking everything- with the amount of rubbish left over by the slovenly crowd enough to fill a small fucking country (they dumped it in in a glacier off Antarctica- safe from criticism there).

And then there is the stupidity that is 'Carrrrbon Foootprintttt' Who was the penis extender who dreamt that fucked up word? A description of the amount of energy someone (or thing in the case of those selfish cows farting everywhere) uses.

WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT A FOOTPRINT? The earth is fucked as it is. We'll all know it...oooo...when our great great grandkids are greyer than a fucking winters night because of the exposure to the unnatural light, plus the fact that global warming (pretty much a giant space heater that has been left on pointed at the earth) will kill all the beauty that are beaches...reefs....southern Califor...no...sorry- that shouldn't be there.

Anyway- yes...IT's TOO LATE. We may as well die happy, rather than worrying about that scrap of paper we are about to be lambasted about by a work colleague because it fell in the rubbish bin rather than the recycling bin that is left RIGHT NEXT TO IT SO YOU CANT FUCKING HELP BUT OVERSHOOT AND HIT THE RUBBISH BIN!

So next time you think about the environment- think about the people who fucked it up. They're all dead. And you're having to pick up their pieces. Sure- we haven't helped in the present world by developing all these electronic devices to make our lives easier but the environments worse. But pfft...we'll leave it for our kids and grand kids to pick up. They'll have to have something to do- technology dictates that their lives will get a fuckload easier...

People and transport.....

2007-07-24T20:30:00.000+10:00

Yes. In general, people shit me. But tranposrt- whether it be car, train, bus or ox...it's all the same.

Like idiots who are on the road thinking their penis is worth an extra lick by their slovenly companion if they take off with a 'roar' in their 1983 XD Falcon with no muffler. Grow some balls mate. Who the hell gives a fuck? Ooooo...what do you want- a cookie?

Or people who are on the train. Public transport in Melbourne is bad enough, but to put up with it with the idiots that ride within? Pleeaasee.

Morons who will not give up their seat for the life of them. When asked by a heavily pregnant woman (or sheman, depending what side of St Kilda you are from), they pretend not to notice. Or when someone who is on the downside of the slide of life asks, they tend to think that if they shut their eyes, the person may think that they are going senile in their old age, and perhaps there isn't actually anyone there to ask. Which makes for interesting viewing, since they'll try to mount said seat with Captain Snooze in it (eyes closed, so they're oblivious to what is happening).

Or then there are people who won't slide across one seat so that someone won't have to whack their sad excuse for a package with their bag as they step over them. Is little seat going to miss you if you leave it? Awwww...Have a cookie...take it away from the idiot in the Falcon.

Then there are the idiot schoolkids who are so insecure about their existence in big bad high school that they talk loudly and emit loud squarks (which the author assumes is some sort of mating call to other insecure fucks on the train). For Christ's sake- QUIET!!! I don't mind the one or two laughs from someone- Sure...people can be funny...especially if they are getting whacked in the package with someone's bag, or getting sat on by an elderly man, but don't keep at it. Remind me to come around to your place at 4am and pipe a recording of you into your ears....Stupid fuckwit.

If that wasn't enough to make you want to start to listen to Paris' album (don't tempt me, it's just too easy), then there are the ticket inspectors on trains/stations.

These lucky 'I can't run, shoot and am not partial to bribes, so I failed the police academy and late nights tire me out, so I can't be security so this is the next best thing' individuals are in charge of 'policing' our transport system. And what a stirling job they do.

They walk around, penis hanging out, with one hand fondling it and one hand on their trusty pad. The one pad....To Rule Them All...*cough* The pad that decides whether Pappa brings home the extra 50 cents commission for booking the 90 year old who is claiming he is not comitting a genocidal act- he is only trying to sit down on the seat with Captain Snooze that he still cannot see. And that badge...Oh baby...Flash it one more time...Do it for me...it turns me on soooo much...all that POWER. ABSOLUTE POWER.

Then when the 90 year old is booked, they try to gain the attention of the blonde they are mentally undressing with their penis (which they still fondle) by acting the big man by attempting to rough up the token speed freak who doesn't have a ticket. First the standing over, then the arm over the shoulder, then comes the signature 'move'. And no- it doesn't result in an orgasmic scream...Well..maybe for them...The bending back of the thumb if they fail to comply/try to run away. Yes- the old Chinese finger trick really hurts apparently. And these 'trained' experts deliver them at freakish speeds.

With the penis hanging out...and the 90 year old content as he is sitting (albeit on Captain Snooze, who we find out loves the leathery feel of old man skin)...and the man with the dented package who has now moved down for the person to sit with their bag...

Oh people shit me...

Winter- and the shit it brings

2007-07-12T19:58:00.000+10:00

Yes- it's winter...and here in Pleasantville, with it's 1950's style attitudes towards many of todays social issues, it is cold.

And whilst I know many of you Northen hemisphere people would laugh your heads off at the definition of cold down here, I dare you to try and top the crap people complain about.

One is the amount of idiots complaining about pregnant women not getting a seat on public trasnport here. HELLOO!!?? I mean- if you are up the duff and want to sit- ASK! People will either be too embarassed or actually not know what to say to NOT give you the seat.

Argh- my brain is sore...no more rant tonight...

Fucking moron kids

2007-06-25T06:32:00.000+10:00

Rant time again...and yes it's been a while.

As the title says, fucking morons kids. Harsh, yet a blunt assessment of today's youth. Troglodites (like the author I hear you say? Yes..like the author, but in vastly different ways) that feed off society's 'I will make you happy if you vote for me' type attitude. Kids who grow up all sweet and kind of like you'd want your own offspring to be, but blow it all somewhere around the start of high school when they start realising that they are NOT going to succeed in life, they WILL end up on the dole and that life SUCKS.

Old people see them as scary. Police see them as 'reckless youths'. Pychologists see them as 'troubled minds'. The media (particularly some current affairs programs that air in the evenings) see them as 'JACKPOT!!!' and will overexpose anything they see about them, calling it an 'exclusive'. Exclusive what? Exclusive drivel that a 20 year old university dropout could tell you? (Yes I was that age at the time thank you for asking).

Kids who you predict will end up behind bars, or robbing you on the street sometimes change however. They see that there is more beneath this facade of 'Look at moii' and will actually do something with their lives. For them- there is hope.

However, there are also the 'rest' of them. Kids who are brought up by parents who don't give a fuck about them. Parents who would be quite happy if their daughter wore clear heels and took to the pole (as long as they saw some of the green). Parents who would not mind of their son became an adult porn 'star' making movies for 50 bucks a pop on the corner of the same joint their daughter works at (again- the green must fall their way though).

I don't want to have kids any time soon. Don't get me wrong- I will love my kids like there is no tomorrow. They will be the most important thing in the world to me.

I just can't stand anybody elses!

WHAT THE HELL????

2007-06-12T21:15:00.000+10:00

Is up with the damn Madeleine case?

Let me firstly say that I really feel for the kid. If she is alive or dead, I'm sure she is going/went through absolute shit.

But the fucking parents....Let's start on them. Okay- we have 2 rather successful British high society doctors. In Portugul. Deciding that 'okay- one night we're feeling like a meal....Let's do the responsible, parently thing and LEAVE OUR 3 FUCKING KIDS alone in a foreign country. Oh yes that will win us the Parents of the Year trophy we so desperately want to add to our collection of shyte'.

What fucking turds. So yes- she gets 'napped and the other two keep sleeping. Hell- she must be worth something if the others weren't taken as well. I mean- I don't know the full story (and have never claimed to), but if I was a kidnapper wanting money or whatever- wouldn't you take more to increase ones chance of the green?

But then the story turns...well...into a grind my gears thing. The morons decide they want to try and push Ol' Faithful- Google to include Madeleine's eyes as the oo's in its logo, as well as include her on SecondLife. As you could well imagine, Google aren't returning anyone's phonecalls just yet on this. For fucks sake....do what anyone would do in this situation...WORK WITH THE FUCKING AUTHORITIES AND POST A REWARD YOURSELVES INSTEAD OF LETTING THE FUCKING WORLD DO YOUR PARENTING FOR YOU!

I mean fuck.....We have our own missing kids here that we need to put more news and media attention to...not an overseas child who has been 'mislaid' by her shit-for-brains parents...

(The whole sordid tale can be read here).

What Grinds My Gears?

2007-06-09T21:33:00.001+10:00

(Yes I took it from Family Guy, but I'm sure Seth and Fox won't be pissed off, so don't fret).

The thing that really grinds my gears? Well the one that I can think of at the moment, as many things do this?

The fucking media circus over Paris 'I Was Already a Pro at this Tossing the Salad Thing' Hilton and her OJ'esque style trial.

Americans seem to want...no CRAVE attention. And no, I'm not talking about all 300 million of them. About 5% of that figure seem to want it so bad, they'll do anything. Whether it is go on 'Who Wants to Marry Cousin Jethro' or even cry about their "harsh treatment" as they are escorted back off to jail AGAIN where they should have stayed in the first place. It's all the same- attention seeking seems to be the new Black.

There is, however, a way to stop this shit. Rather simple and I am sure others have commented on this before.

Don't watch.

Simple. The less people CNN sees tuning in, for example, to see the blow by blow commentary on this idiotic circus at present, the message becomes clearer- we don't particularly give a rats arse about this and have our own lives to worry about.

Anyway- my ranting seems to be not on the ball tonight- perhaps at a later stage...

As luck would have it...

2007-06-09T21:17:00.000+10:00

I found the old blogs...as well as the old rants. I'll anchor them sometime soon.

My old blogger account died...damnit....

2007-06-09T20:33:00.000+10:00

And all I did was rant about shit in my old one...

Okay- maybe I might start to do the same on this one...and most likely it will be updated as much as the Victorian public transport systems dilapidated 'trains'

Here goes for a test run...now all I need are my rants...